Why can’t we—myself, included—learn that we are more than a number on the scale. If we gain five pounds, our life is miserable. Heaven forbid should we gain 10 or more pounds! This is not only a definite self-esteem buster, but the added weight weighs us down with the belief that we are the most lowly creature in the human race.

Experts—counselors, weight-loss gurus, just about everybody—tell us that we should love ourselves just as we are. Sounds good, but this is hard to do when we’re so imperfect. And nothing is more imperfect than a body that sports above-average weight.

I know this firsthand. Just over 10 years ago, I was 150 pounds overweight. Although I had (and have) scads of friends, a loving husband, three adoring kids, acclaim for my volunteer work and writing success, I couldn’t find anything good about me or my life. I was, after all, obese. Nothing else mattered.

Okay! I’m not saying being obese is good. We all know that this condition is life threatening. What I am trying to get across is that weight is part of the packaging and has nothing to do with the goods inside. We can change the packaging—and, fortunately, I did—but who we are at our core remains the same. And, thankfully, there is usually good in everyone.

So let’s try to at least like ourselves, no matter what the number on the scale is. Think of all the good things you have done for others when it’s hard to zip up your pants. Think of the successes in your life when the mirror reveals a little flab on the thighs. Think of all the people—significant other, children, friends—who adore you when you see someone your height who is 25 pounds lighter. Think of how important you are to the smooth operation of your office or home when fashion fads leave your body type on the outside.

I’m trying to learn to do this. I felt okay about myself and who I was when I lost 170 pounds. When I regained 50 pounds I slipped right back into the “worthless-me-syndrome.” Lost weight again! Liked myself again! Gained weight again and…well, you get the picture and it’s not a pretty one.

If you don’t like carrying around added pounds, lose the weight if that will make you feel better about your body. But never, ever let your weight make you feel bad about the person you are. And, if this will help, do what someone suggested to me when you get on the scale. Consider the number your I.Q.! See…you really are someone special!