I am a Mother
Some of the worst advice I ever received (and for a while, believed) was given to me by nurses in the hospital.
I had given birth to a healthy baby boy at around midnight; at four thirty in the morning I was finally being taken to my room. When the nurse came to bring me my son and to help me learn to breastfeed, she launched into a long, scolding speech about not letting the baby use me as a pacifier. My poor, new-mother brain had just given birth; it was trying to learn how to breastfeed; and now, it had to file away this “don’t be a pacifier” advice.
Becoming a mother came with a whirlwind of advice: from nurses, doctors, lactation consultants, family, friends, co-workers. I hung on every word so I would do the “right” thing. There were warnings to never give formula, encouragements to supplement with formula; to let the baby cry, to always respond to his whimpers. My mind raced in circles trying to follow what everyone was telling me to do.
And then my mother said, “When you get home, you do what you want, it’s your baby.”
Do what I want? I am not a trained medical professional. I am a mother.
I. Am. A. Mother.
This is my baby. This is not some stranger or plant or equation to be solved. I gave birth to this boy and I was the one to comfort him. We spent night after night nursing and cuddling; day after day playing and smiling. I learned when his cry meant he was hungry. I learned when his yawns meant he was tired. I figured out how he liked to be held and how he liked to fall asleep with our skin touching. When he was sick I knew when his fever was worrisome and when it had broken.
In those long days and nights with him I learned how to be a mother.
I learned who he was. And I learned who I had become.
Comments
Very good!! Now multilply that by 10. (From a mother of 10 and grandma of soon to be 8 and loving it.)
Posted by: Carol | October 31, 2006 11:39 AM
That was beautiful and so true!
Posted by: MK | November 1, 2006 06:44 PM