I got a contact number from my friend. It took me a few days to get up my courage, but I made the call. I was told what was involved and what was required of me. Hesitantly, I agreed to do “this thing.” An appointment was set.

A few days before the scheduled appointment, nervousness overwhelmed me. Instead of thinking about what I had to do, I concentrated on the money. It would only involve a few hours and I would make $200. I could do this!

NO…I wasn’t going to do anything illegal! I couldn’t prostitute myself that way. What I signed up for was participation in an incontinence study at a nearby university. I had agreed to be a human guinea pig. I would make some money and, as a bonus, I just might learn how to handle incontinence. (I believed that I had this problem.)

I met with the study coordinator, answered a number of questions and then, after changing into a hospital gown, I was placed in an examining room. The doctor—thankfully, a female physician—began the examination. It was both painful and humiliating. (I now know why they pay money for these kinds of studies!)

Finally, it was over; I was done! The only thing left to do was to go over the results with the doctor. The good news: I wasn’t incontinent; the bad news: I wasn’t incontinent. The doctor was upset. Subjects with incontinence were needed for the study. In a less-than-pleasant tone, she told me my problem and the solution. “You wait too long,” she said. “You need to go when you need to go!”

After this experience, I vowed that research would have to continue without me. I learned that this definitely wasn’t the way for me to make money ... no matter how much was offered. But wait! There’s a study on motor skills and aging. It pays really well! Maybe…