I got my college degree. I got my first job. I got a good salary with great benefits and I got a title. I’m a marketing assistant for the president of a number of companies. I’m handling the marketing responsibilities for these companies’ websites. I love what I’m doing; I respect and admire the man I’m working for and he likes me and the work I’m doing. Everything sounds great, doesn’t it?

Well, it would be great if the other employees weren’t so…well…jealous of the amount of time I spend with the boss.

Continue reading "Jealousy In The Workplace" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 07:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

My mother loved me. I have no doubt about this. But my mom just didn’t like me. Of her four daughters, I was the one who was “different…somewhat weird…not her type!” This knowledge wasn’t hearsay. She once told me—I was in my late 20’s—that although she loved me very much, if I were the next door neighbor, she wouldn’t invite me over for coffee. “You’re just not my type!” she said. (That’s what I got for asking!)

Continue reading "For Better Or Worse, She Was My Mom!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

One of the purposes of Things I Learned the Hard Way is to provide a place for women to share wisdom with each other. At 62, I’ve been fortunate to have acquired a great deal of wisdom over the years…much from others and some that came to me solely out of necessity. Today I want to share a discovery that served me well when my children were babies. It came to me in a “turning-on-the light-bulb-moment.”

Continue reading "Make “Dada” The First Word!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 10:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Today we introduce Jenny Williams and her new column, the Cupboard Cure. She will be testing old wive's tales and inventive fix-its that can be done with stuff we all have lying around the house. If you have a particular fixit problem, write to us and Jenny will run tests in her household lab. She will learn things the hard way so you don’t have to.

Posted by Carrie Bickner-Zeldman at 07:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

As a newly married couple, my husband and moved out of state and did what newlyweds typically do. We got a puppy. You know the drill: start with the animal to prepare for the children. And just like a toddler, this adorable animal has some separation anxiety issues. He can't be left alone in the house.

Continue reading "The Cupboard Cure For Fixing Blinds" »

Posted by Jenny Williams at 04:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

An overnight getaway to celebrate our anniversary! That was what my husband and I planned. Our aim was to take in the fall colors and leave behind the telephone calls, the living-at-home daughter, and all of the other commotion that fills our home. It was to be a little romantic time with each other.

I went on the web to find a hotel/motel to stay in on our overnight jaunt. With the vast number of choices available, it was hard to make a selection until my eyes read the words “high performance beds.” This was what one lodging offered. Wow! I thought. This is exactly what we need! I got excited. It had been years since there had been any “high performance” in our bed. Maybe, just maybe, we would find it at this motel! I booked a room.

Continue reading "It Sounded Good!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 07:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Happy Thanksgiving from the staff of Things I learned the Hard Way!

Posted by Carrie Bickner-Zeldman at 11:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Watching your parents get older is one thing; telling them that they are getting older is another. I have learned the hard way that it is something you should never, ever do. My comments about my folks' advancing years—although often said in humor—have caused some pretty ugly moments at our house.

Continue reading "Parents Get Older" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 03:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Each year I easily double my Hanukkah and Christmas budget by shopping for myself. This is especially problematic when I shop for the women in my life. This year I am thinking about giving my sis a Juicy tracksuit. She would never buy one for herself, and would enjoy romping around in one. With two kids and one more on the way, she could use a little casual glamour. But if she gets one, shouldn’t I get one (or two or three) too?

Continue reading "One for You, One, Two Three for Me" »

Posted by Carrie Bickner-Zeldman at 07:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Most every Thanksgiving I overeat! Not only this, but I often fill myself with less-than-healthy foods. And you do, too! Forget the denials! Admit it: you overeat and you eat too many of the “wrong” things on Thanksgiving!

Most of us overeat on this holiday. It’s part of the tradition that is Thanksgiving. Each year, we learn the hard way, how awful it is to have that overly stuffed feeling that creates an immediate desire to rush to the nearest couch. And each year, we feel guilty about doing so much damage to our healthy diets. (No wonder there is a five- to eight-pound average weight gain during the holiday season, which begins on Thanksgiving Day!)

Continue reading "Stuffed Turkey…Wait! That’s Me!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 12:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Here is a short-but-sweet tip for those cooking for the holidays. Measure dry ingredients in your stackable 1/4, 1/3, 1/2 and one-cup measuring sets. Use the one- and two-cup plastic and glass measuring cups, the ones that have teapot handles, for wet. My pancakes have never been the same since I learned this trick. See more measuring tips from eHow.

Posted by Carrie Bickner-Zeldman at 07:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I know that I’m not a young chick, but do I have to be reminded every day in my mail and my email that I’m old? I’ve learned that the more that is known “out there” about me—mostly through information that I’ve provided—the more I am treated to all sorts of age-appropriate junk stuff.

I don’t have hemorrhoids, acid reflux and restless leg syndrome. (What is “restless leg syndrome” anyway?) My hearing is fine; my teeth are all mine and I have so much hair that my hairdresser marvels about its thickness. I don’t need a scooter to get around my house and I haven’t even considered senior housing options. My heart is working well and I’m not constipated on a regular basis. I remember things, at least most of the time, and why would I want to preplan my funeral? (I’ve done so much for my kids over the years; I want to leave something for them to do!) Besides, death isn’t anything that I think about. I haven’t even started to read the obituaries in the newspaper!

Continue reading "I’m Not Old!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 02:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Some of the best advice I have received, or at least been able to hear, has been of the short-but-sweet variety. We are trying a new format this week: the short post. If you can describe something that you learned the hard way in seventy words or less, please send it to us.

Here is my first.

To get body odor out of clothing, even out of musty old vintage clothing, soak the garment in a tub full of cold water, baking soda, and vinegar. If it the garment is wool or requires dry-cleaning, let it dry flat. I did this with a vintage suit from the early 70’s and it worked like a charm. Be sure to test a sample of the fiber with the solution first.

Posted by Carrie Bickner-Zeldman at 07:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

By Emily Prysby (daughter) and Sandra Dalka-Prysby (mother)

Daughter: I like how I dress. I have a clothing style similar to what my female contemporaries wear. I buy my clothes at shops and stores catering to young adults and I get compliments all the time on my wardrobe, not only from those my age, but from older adults, too. I guess about the only person I can’t please when it comes to the clothes I wear is my mother.

Mother: I don’t understand why my daughter has to show her midriff and her cleavage with some of her clothing choices. I also don’t think that tight jeans are becoming. My daughter’s poorest dress choices, however, are her shoes. She wears the highest, skinniest and most pointed heels when she goes out. I know her feet hurt in these shoes, but she wears them anyway. I think she can still look “hip” with better and more flattering choices.

Continue reading "She Said; She Said…Dress Style!" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 09:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Any dolt can tell you that online auctions are lousy with creeps peddling fake designer handbags. They are easy to spot with their too-good-to-be-true, buy-it-now prices, hyperbolic guarantees, bad zippers, and plastic-wrapped handles. The auction houses do their best to protect buyers from the crooks who would have you pay hundreds for a bad bag. EBay maintains an up to date page that tells you how to identify a fraud.

But what I have learned the hard way is that grey-market dealers of imperfect bags or irregulars can easily pass their goods off as authentic over the web.

Continue reading "The Fish Purse" »

Posted by Carrie Bickner-Zeldman at 07:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

There are many consequences to being overweight. This I learned when I was 325 pounds. But I never realized how much my obesity cost us financially. (Hate the word “obese,” but that is what I was!)

There were the doctor bills and medication for all the colds and infections that I had when I was obese. I didn’t connect these illnesses to my weight. I reasoned that I was just susceptible to all the bugs going around. Then I lost enough weight to put me into the “average” category. Amazingly, with the loss of pounds came the loss of an overabundance of maladies. A mild cold once in a while is about all that I have to contend with these days.

Continue reading "The Bigger You Are, The More You Lose! (Money, that is!)" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 03:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

I am usually a skeptic when it comes to hearing about bizarre things. I even check those urban legends websites when I get one of those “warning” and “this is really true” messages in my email in-box. In my experience, most things that are “stranger than fiction” usually are fiction.

I have learned, however, that some things that seem weird are true. “Myrtle the Fertile” is one of those things.

Continue reading "Myrtle The Fertile!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Periodically, this mother-daughter team, Emily Prysby (daughter) and Sandra Dalka-Prysby (mother), will bring their relationship challenges to Things I Learned the Hard Way. Their posts might help you reach some solutions with your own parent-child problems. This post covers the “She’s Back!!!” issue.

Mother: How excited I was. My daughter, my baby, was moving home. Finally—it took five years—she had graduated from college and she wanted to live at home, search for a job, and save some money. I thought it a great idea, especially since we were so close. I’d have my little sidekick home! How great!

Daughter: After five years on my own...

Continue reading "She Said; She Said... Moving Home" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 10:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

My doctor called to say that my pap smear showed a problem. “You don’t need to worry,” he said and then turned me over to his nurse to schedule “a procedure” as an outpatient in the hospital. Don’t worry? Don’t worry? How could I not worry? I was in that in-between place where I could do nothing else but worry.

I can handle bad; I can handle good. I just can’t handle being in that place where the outcome is unknown. That’s when I worry the most.

Continue reading "Worry Not" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 10:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Everybody drinks at college! Well, maybe not everybody, but most of the people I knew did. I was in a sorority. Sorority girls go to fraternity parties. Drinks flow at fraternity parties.

One April night in 2004—I was a college senior—I went with a group of my sisters to a big frat party. I drank an unknown number of drinks. By 2 a.m. I was bored and tired and I wanted to go home. None of my sorority sisters wanted to leave the party so I decided I would walk the two blocks home by myself. Bad move. Less than a block from my house, I was mugged. I was pushed down and my purse was stolen.

Continue reading "One Night: One Stupid Decision" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 09:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I was 39 with a benchmark birthday due in October. Forty meant I wasn’t young anymore, and that scared me as much as a spooky campfire story can frighten a sassy adolescent. My fear came in the form of simple math. If I were to live a normal life expectancy, I had forty years left.

The first had gone by so quickly. I had been a sweet child and a not-so-spectacular student. The next twenty, I was wife and mom. Those roles were changing. The child in me was no longer calling out. Student days were a foggy memory. My own children were in high school, making decisions of their own. My husband and I had grown together and flowed down the same river. But with our kids nearly launched, our work as parents was easing up. It was time to think about my future!

Continue reading "Building a Career Mid-Life" »

Posted by Janet Bickner at 09:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Weight-wise, I’m ending 2006 in a better place than I started the year. And I still have two months left to lose even more pounds before the ball drops on New Year’s Eve and everybody else is dusting off their “I-will-lose-weight-this-year-for-sure” resolution. And you, too, have a couple of months to improve your waistline.

I learned the hard way that postponing weight loss until after the holidays can be a poor decision. In the past, I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted during this goodie-filled season because, after all, I was going to start a diet on January 1. Then an amazing thing happened! This decision to wait resulted in even more weight! When I finally got on the scale on the first day of the first month, the higher number caused even more self-disgust. This certainly isn’t a positive way to begin the New Year!

This year I’ve lost almost 60 pounds—over the last year, I regained 90 pounds of my 170-pound weight lost—and I’m not done! I’m planning to have another 15 pounds off by January 1 followed by another 15 pounds by the time spring arrives. (Even with my varicose veins, I’m planning to look great in a bathing suit next summer!)

This is how I plan to lose the remaining weight this year, and next. Follow my example and you, too, can delight in the number on the scale as 2007 begins....

Continue reading "It’s Not Too Late!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 09:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

On my 30th birthday more than 30 years ago, I got down on my knees and prayed to God to send me a good man to marry. I needed divine help since I had been doing a lousy job with my love life selections for the past few years. I continued this ritual every night and three weeks later, I met the man who would become my husband, although I didn’t consider him marriage material when I met him. (He was “too nice” and every woman knows that a too-nice man isn’t a prized commodity. More on this in a future post.)

Continue reading "Why Did I Tell Him That?" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 07:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Oh my gosh! My weekly horoscope was missing from the newspaper. How would I (and other Scorpios) know what steps to take for seven whole days? This was awful!!!

Continue reading "Can I Go On?" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 07:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It took three months for me to realize I had to do something about the cleanliness of my house. And a year more for me to accept the inevitable and hire someone to clean it for me. Don’t be like me: it is ok to pay someone to do something you don’t like to do or don’t want to do. Just make sure you pay them fairly and don’t think you are superior to them because you put them on the payroll.

I am a pretty hard-core feminist and I have read Barbara Ehrenreich on the subject of hiring people to clean. I honestly believe that I should clean my own dirt and moreover, that my husband should clean it with me. There is nothing inherently wrong with cleaning and I am a fairly hard worker when I want to be. I had to clean cabins at camp and mop and clean at various jobs. I’ve lived in apartments on my own since I was 19 years old. I have no trouble taking care of myself. I am also not one of those people who think that having a master’s degree means I am too smart to clean.

Continue reading "Outsourcing Housekeeping" »

Posted by Jennifer Weintraub at 08:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)