Odds Not Good
"All good things come in threes.” This saying may prove true for some things, but when in comes to roommates and friendships groups, I’ve learned the hard way that there’s no charm in threesomes. There always seems to be two against one or, equally bad, one has to take on the role of mediator.
One year during college, I had two roommates. One of the roommates was—to say the least—difficult and living with her was not fun. I, however, took the attitude that this was only a temporary arrangement and I could live with “Miss Nasty.” My other roommate wasn’t so generous. She complained to me often trying to get me on her side. Meanwhile, Miss Nasty complained to me just as much about our other roommate. My life that year was miserable. I hated being in the middle. Never again, I told myself, would I live in a three-person housing arrangement.
Then I moved back home after college. I’m back to having two roommates. Although my roommates are my parents, I still have to deal with the problems that come with threesomes. Sometimes—more often than I would like—it’s “them two” against me. I’ve learned to handle these two-against-me situations best by keeping my mouth shut and reminding myself that they are providing me with free room and board and the opportunity to improve my finances. For this alone, I try to respect their complaints and opinions and do the best I can to assure harmony. Also, a few times since my return a year ago, I have had to serve as a mediator when my parents disagree. I don’t like this. (What did they do when I wasn’t here?) My input, however, often helps to sooth out the problem. (They are beginning to treat me as an adult and value my opinion!) And, luckily, this particular threesome
works better than most because we all love each other.
I didn’t always have to go it alone with my parents. I had a brother and sister living at home when I was growing up and the odds were more in our favor. It was three-against-two. (Another validation that “odds”—as in odd numbers—aren’t good!) Now that my brother lives on his own and my sister is married, I’ve become the odd man (woman) out!
There’s another threesome—my two best friends and I—that is also challenging. The legendary three musketeers (and that’s what everyone calls us) might have worked well together, but us three modern-day pals sure do have our moments!
Recently I had a misunderstanding with one of my best friends. For two weeks I lost both friends because they sided against me. I know I could have worked out this problem earlier if there was only one person to deal with.
Two-against-one gave me an unfair advantage.
As painful as this experience was, it made me reach out to my other friends, one in particular. She and I are becoming really close and have discovered that we share many interests. Although “the three musketeers” are back together and stronger than ever, I can worry less about having my two best friends gang up against me. I have other worthwhile options!