I got married so young that it did not matter. I did change my name, but then I hated my maiden name. DH, DD1, DD2 and I all have the same last name. I am so glad because it makes life easy.

Legally, your name is Zeldman, so for official documents just go by that,, but for personal and office use,,, B/Z would be fine.. I never changed my Passport, just carry a valid marraige license to show name change...

My daughter has, in her opinion, got it right. She's Sims (maiden name used professionally) at work and Anderson (legal name) at home - the children are Anderson and, the biggest bonus as far as she is concerned (she works in a high-profile industry sector, people connected with work can't find her at home.

I'm interested in what people have to say about this. I am very attached to my last name and have every intention of keeping it when I'm married. I don't even care to hyphenate. My boyfriend has considered changing his name to mine, but he isn't entirely comfortable with the idea. So that's fine, different names, not a problem for either of us.

Until we have kids. Despite many conversations, we haven't had much luck coming up with a solution. Hyphenate? Just his last name? Just mine? Maybe we make one of them sort of like a second middle name. We don't know what to do. So I really hope someone else can offer a solution for us!

I feel like I have talked to every single one of my mom friends about this issue, and I can't say that I think any solution is the perfect one. Some do the hyphen for the whole family, some only for the kid(s); some have taken husbands names; some have kept theirs and given the kid(s) the husband's; and one has even given one kid the mom's last name and the other one the dad's.

For a variety of reasons (I had published under it, my husband's name sounds weird with mine, etc.) I kept my name. But we gave our kid my husband's last name because it's easier to spell and pronounce. Sometimes I think it'd be nice for us all to have the same last name (but not enough to change mine!).

As for difficulties, so far we haven't had any. I've had the health insurance for years and it's never been a problem. I've never traveled alone with my kid, though, or gotten him a passport. It feels like everyone we know has a different answer to the name question, so no one ever blinks an eye at it. But maybe that's just a New York thing. :)

Doahleigh, thanks for your post. It reminded me of something important. It is relatively easy to change your name when you get married because you have a fresh wedding certificate, but if you want to change it later, the process can be much more difficult.

Well I married 2 years ago and we were both in our early 30s so we both kept our names. So far it's been fine. I always keep a copy of our marriage certificate in my wallet, but haven't needed it yet. We bought a bunch of certified copies of the license right after the ceremony to have them in case of emergencies.
My husband is in the military, which we thought might be challenging, but that hasn't been a problem at all. We don't have kids yet, but they will get his last name which I don't mind. Part of the reason that I really wanted to keep my last name--aside from my feminist tendencies--is that my father died when I was young and I treasure having his last name.

I got married at age 33 and had already established myself as a writer. My solution to keep name recognition was to hyphenate! Each of our three kids have their father's last name. No problem. Socially, I'm known as Mrs. Prysby, which is who I am...Professionally, I'm known as Sandra Dalka-Prysby, which is who I am. It's been fun having two names and two roles for 30 years!

Too lazy to change my name but annoyed and explaining that I'm my son's mother, so I came up with this theory. Follow along... Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York- - Mary Jones, Mrs. of Anderson. Or to use Sandy's name- Sandra Dalka, Mrs. of Prysby. I'm waiting for it to catch on! Spread the word!

For the past 18 years I've had my hyphenated name and I'm sticking with it! The McMillion is my link to my husband and child, the Doran is my link to myself. I love my hyphenated name, although I would never impose it on my child.