I’ve had a couple of long-term boyfriends and in both cases I made their needs more important than my own. This, I thought, is what a “girlfriend” was expected to do. I was a great girlfriend, but I wasn’t true to myself. My needs were buried so I could keep my boyfriend happy. Both times my boyfriends were in a good relationship; both times I was in a bad relationship. And it wasn’t my boyfriends’ fault. It was mine. I settled for someone who didn’t appreciate how special I am. No more!

Now I am not giving too much too soon. I’m not desperate to find a man and although men seem to find me, I am now only interested in an equal relationship. Unlike the past when I seemed to do everything for “my man,” I now expect the men in my life to reciprocate. I want my needs to be satisfied, too. If a man can’t do this, I move on, for I now know I don’t have to settle for less. I’ve learned that it is far better to be alone than to be with a man whose total focus is himself and what he wants.

There are good guys out there. Until I meet the one that will do for me, I’m doing for myself. I’m building my career. I’m learning new skills and adding to my hobbies. I’m making new friends and sharing new experiences. I’m not sitting at home and waiting for my prince to arrive.

When my prince does come—and he will—I’ll be an even more knowledgeable and worthwhile person. How lucky the man who gets me! In the meantime, how fortunate I am for this opportunity for personal growth.