I finally did it! I finally cut the apron strings…not completely, but enough to make me feel like a mentally capable parent. I knew this had to be done…sometime, but I am still surprised that I picked up the scissors and began snipping!

From the very beginning with the birth of our first child, our son Andy, I loved motherhood. Changing messy diapers gave me time for eye-to-eye interaction with my son. I never dreaded late-night feedings because I could spend time with this small bundle of joy. I hated naptime because I couldn’t be with this precious little creature. I held “my prince” from morning to night and talked to him incessantly. He heard all about me and his dad and his extended family—all the family stories—before he was three months old. Ahhh! Life was great.

When first one daughter, Libby, arrived 18 months after our son and then another, Emily, came 27 months after Libby, I found that motherhood, although at times hectic, was my perfect role. I felt so blessed surrounded by my three little chicks. Caring for them was, for me, the best job I ever had.

I enjoyed each and every stage of their lives. We had fun—all of us—even during the challenging pre-teen and teen years. My husband and I were blessed with good kids and the challenges were brief and minor. I wanted my kids around forever!

College years came and as each left for campus my heart broke a little. Luckily, they were fairly close and visits were frequent. (Amazingly…they wanted to see and be with me!)

Continue reading "Cutting the Apron Strings" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 08:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

At 9 a.m. just about every Sunday morning my parents begin their campaign at my bedroom door to get me to go to church. “I’m going later!” I tell them. (I usually don’t!) My mother makes the second charge at 9:15 a.m. “Are you sure you don’t want to go with us?” comes her almost-pleading voice through the crack in my door. “No…I’ll go later,” I yell at her. At 9:30 a.m. another appeal comes from one or both of them. “Go away!” I say not too pleasantly. Luckily, by 9:45 a.m. they’re gone!

Although I’ve been living at home from more than a year (I came home after graduating from college), my parents have yet to understand that their religion and how they practice it isn’t necessarily my thing. I’m not saying that I’m not religious…I’m just saying that I’m not necessarily the every-Sunday-church-going-type-of person, especially after staying out really late the night before. I’ve told my parents this many times since the first weekend that I returned to the nest. What I’ve learned, however, is that they have selective hearing…or, maybe, they’re just hoping that their persistence will pay off!

Continue reading "Church Every Sunday?" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 04:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Okay! So I know that I’m not young. Sixty-two, after all, isn’t an age that is synonymous with the term “spring chicken.” But here’s the rub! Often—too often—I’ve read newspaper accounts about sixty-plus individuals whom the reporters refer to as “elderly.” Come on, now! This, to me, is a stretch. If 50 is the new 40 and 60 the new 50, I am hardly elderly! In fact, I’m so young in spirit that I’m sure that the “new 50” is too old a classification for me.

I’ve learned the hard way, however, that in this youth-minded society that my opinion and experience have little or no value because at 62 I’m old. (My contemporaries, however, know where I’m coming from and what I have to offer. Luckily, we’re growing in numbers!)

Job Search

Recently I went in search of more freelance work. (I’ve been a writer for more than 40 years…a good and award-winning writer.) First stop was an advertising agency looking for “someone who really knows how to write!” According to the vice president who recommended me—she’s five years my senior—the agency has problems with most of its writers. “The kids coming out of college these days don’t even know how to write a sentence correctly,” the VP told me. “We need someone with your experience and abilities.” I was sure I had this writing gig in the bag. Wrong! The 30-something human resource person was kind to me during the interview, but stressed the need of being able to write copy that would “hit” the agency’s under-40 market demographics. “No problem,” I said. My assurance that I could do the job, and do it well, wasn’t enough. I never got a call!

Continue reading "Elderly? ELDERLY!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 06:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I finally gave in. Almost immediately after I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of months ago, friends urged me to go online and join one of those sites that match you up with “Mr. Perfect.” I resisted this way of meeting someone until last weekend. I took the plunge and I’m here to say that I’ve learned in a few short days that there are a whole lot of men out there who don’t know how to read!

In addition to providing information about who I am, the site application asked some basic questions about what I am searching for in a potential date. I wrote that I wanted a college graduate. (Since I worked hard to get a degree and I would like someone who also has accomplished this.) Also I provided an age range of 24-30. I’m 24 and I consider anyone over 30 years of age too old for me.

Soon after I was “accepted” as a member on this online dating site, I began to get “winks.” (This means male members are interested in my profile and getting to know me.) This is good, I thought…that is until I checked these members’ profiles. Without exception, every “winker” was over 30 years of age with a few near 40. Also, a few didn’t have the college degree that I stated was important to me. “No thanks,” was my thought. My reply to them was a little gentler!

Continue reading "Finding a Man Online" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 05:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Always on the search for clothes that make me look slimmer—heck…why should I put all the effort into the diet/exercise-thing to accomplish this—I found what I thought was a good solution for my sometimes bulging stomach. I traded in front-zippered pants for those with a side zipper.

These new-found pants give my stomach a smooth line. (You know how the flap of a front zipper can pop out when you have too much food in your belly! A side zipper solves this problem.) My belief in the wonders of the side zipper led me to purchase not one, but six pairs of these pants in various colors. They looked good on me and I felt like I was ready to conquer the world in these pants. Ahhh! But…!

I learned the hard way that everything isn’t always as wonderful as you think it is. These side-zippered pants do slim my front, but only when my stomach isn’t filled “to the gills.” (Now where the heck did this rather unusual expression come from…I’ll have to do some research!) When my tummy is full it protrudes, side zipper or not. And, when my stomach protrudes, I have problems getting the side zipper down and up, but especially up! With a little extra padding in front, it is hard to reach to the side and zip my pants up. Inevitably I catch my skin in the zipper. Ouch!!! The left side of my torso in marked with numerous bruises, an indication of not being able to master a side zipper.

Continue reading "No Pinched Skin!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I’m going broke saving money! Sounds like an oxymoron. Call it what you will, it’s the truth.

I’ve learned the hard way that marketers have me pegged. Offer me a $10-off coupon on just about anything and I buy. Forget the requirement that I have to spend $50 to get that “free” $10. In my mind—and obviously in the minds of thousands of other consumers (otherwise, these coupons would be nonexistent)—the $10-off appeal makes spending an additional $40 or more dollars a good deal. Then I go over the bills at month’s end and realize how very stupid I am. That’s when I know I’ve been suckered again!

Businesses will use just about any tactic—they call it a “campaign”—to get sales and they depend on people like me...people who have an unbridled desire to save $10 on just about anything. Like me, budget-conscious consumers think that they can’t afford to pass up free money. Saving money on the things we need is a good thing, but spending additional money for things we really don’t need is not good for the budget.

Continue reading "And I think I'm smart!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 08:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Boyfriends come and go…and sometimes they don’t go in the best possible way. This I have learned the hard way—the painful way. But, happily, I have learned that this is a necessary step in the search for a lifelong partner and for lifelong happiness.

At the end of my senior year in high school I fell in love with my best friend. After three years of a close friendship, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. The summer before going away to college was my best summer ever. We were together constantly and shared our dreams and our goals. The first flush of love was so very magical.

We left for our separate colleges and vowed that the 400-mile distance between us would not change our feelings for each other. We only grew closer over the distance and saw each other often. The four years flew by as each of us enjoyed our college experience—we were smart enough to encourage each other to take advantage of all that college has to offer. We trusted each other when social events at our perspective schools required dates. He would take one of his female friends to his activities; I took buddies to mine. On summer breaks we were totally together. We both believed—no, make that knew—that we had found “the one!”

College graduation came and I was ready to launch myself into my career. My boyfriend wasn’t ready for what he considered “the daily grind” of a “real job.” With his wealthy parents’ endorsement he first traveled Europe and then spent a year on the slopes of Lake Tahoe. During this time we stayed connected. He was the one for me; I was the one for him.

Continue reading "Gone but Not Forgotten!" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 11:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I learned that this world is a whole lot different than my parent’s world. I’m not just talking about technology. Most advances—well, maybe not the ever-present cell phone stuck to everyone’s ear—have made life a whole lot easier. I’m talking about the “entitled” attitude that has affected so many people. This “I-can-do-anything-I-want” attitude is so pervasive that it is destroying basic civility. “Thank you” is fast becoming a lost phrase.

I often hold open doors for people young and old. Hardly ever is there an acknowledgement of my kind action. The feeling I get from these insensitive people is that they “expect” doors to be opened for them. These are the very same masses who rush through doors ahead of me with nary a care for my or anyone else’s well-being. These members of civilization—Opps! “Civilization” is the wrong category for this group!—worry only about themselves and could care less about their fellow man or woman. (That is, unless some fellow man or woman can give them what they want and what they feel they are entitled to.)

Doorways aren’t the only locations where entitled people show their true colors. The highways and byways are filled with self-ordained privileged people. They cut you off because they want your lane; they ride on your tail so you’ll speed up (even though you’re going five miles over the speed limit); they toot their horns to move you out of the way, and they swerve in and out of traffic so they can arrive at their destinations a few minutes earlier. Although their driving actions cause near accidents, they just don’t care. They want what they want when they want it.

Continue reading "Entitled to Thank You" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 10:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Attention mothers of young children! I’m here to help you learn something that I wish I had learned when I became a mother for the first time. If you do…and follow the good advice I’m about to give you, you won’t find yourself in the situation that I am now in.

I, like you, fell in love with each of my children the minute they were born. They took center stage in my life. I did everything for them over the years, as did my husband. Both of us felt that our children were “everything.” This is not bad. What is bad is that I, especially, put my spouse in second place. His concerns came only after the concerns of the children were attended to.

Our care and concern for our three children have paid off nicely. All three are wonderful and kind young people with college educations and contributing members of society. Both my husband and I are proud and definitely feel that all our hard work over the years as parents has been worth it. We did well when it came to the children, but we goofed when it came to each other.

Continue reading "Wife First...Then a Mother!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 05:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Like many of you, I feel great when spring arrives; the sun shines and the flowers begin to bloom. It’s an “up-time-of-year.” (This is true…if I don’t look at all the work I need to do outside!) As great as spring is, there are still three other seasons in the year which challenge my well-being. (I live in Michigan which is known for its rainy falls, often-humid summers and cold, dreary winters!)
Years ago I learned that I could give into the weather—hence, get depressed when the sun refuses to make an appearance for days—or do something to add a little sunshine to my life. That is when I instituted my four-a-day mission. My goal is to make four strangers smile each and every day. If I’m not out-and-about—which is rare—and I don’t have an opportunity to make strangers smile, I turn to email and/or the telephone and transmit positive messages to four friends or family members.
My mission/goal has made my life a whole lot happier and has kept me connected with my fellow human beings in such a positive way. I can usually find something good about everyone I meet. This is such a wonderful way to combat not only bad weather but bad headlines and stories of human tragedy, which, unfortunately, are normal occurrences. Strangers, such as people you meet while waiting in a line, or in doctor’s waiting rooms, at airports, coming out of church, or service personnel (store clerks, building janitors, doormen, gas station attendants), etc., etc., etc. are my targets.

Continue reading "Four-A-Day!" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 02:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Dear Faithful Readers,

We’re back! After some site glitches and some life problems—admittance into and starting graduate school for one writer; surgery for another writer; computer problems for still another, etc., etc. etc. (we are, after all, just regular women with everyday challenges)—we’re ready to again bring you some entertaining and worthwhile information and advice on Things I Learned the Hard Way.

Please return to this site regularly to learn some “woman things” that will help you handle life with greater ease, more confidence and the knowledge of knowing that there are other women out there who have found solutions to similar problems or who are, at the very least, in the same boat as you.

Also, we need your help in getting the word out about our site. Please tell other women (and enlightened men, too) about Things I Learned the Hard Way. As our readership grows, the opportunity to bring you solutions and some smiles to your face continues. And don’t just read the blogs. Help other women by providing your comments, as well as some of the things that you learned the hard way!

Thanks for being so patient. We are here to share with you.

Posted by Hard Way Staff at 12:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Why are thongs—the underwear type not the sandals—so popular? I can’t understand why a thin strap in a butt crack is supposed to be sexy. At any rate, I learned the hard way that this style is not for me.
My first thong was a birthday gift from a sorority sister when I was in college. I had been wearing bikini pants. These were fine for me. My sorority sister, however, insisted that I needed a thong to get rid of my panty line when I was wearing tight pants. Okay, so I’ll try this almost-nothing pair of black panties. (By the way, I always wondered why pants are called a “pair” when it is only one garment piece?)

Continue reading "Why Thongs?" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 09:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)