Gone but Not Forgotten!
Boyfriends come and go…and sometimes they don’t go in the best possible way. This I have learned the hard way—the painful way. But, happily, I have learned that this is a necessary step in the search for a lifelong partner and for lifelong happiness.
At the end of my senior year in high school I fell in love with my best friend. After three years of a close friendship, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. The summer before going away to college was my best summer ever. We were together constantly and shared our dreams and our goals. The first flush of love was so very magical.
We left for our separate colleges and vowed that the 400-mile distance between us would not change our feelings for each other. We only grew closer over the distance and saw each other often. The four years flew by as each of us enjoyed our college experience—we were smart enough to encourage each other to take advantage of all that college has to offer. We trusted each other when social events at our perspective schools required dates. He would take one of his female friends to his activities; I took buddies to mine. On summer breaks we were totally together. We both believed—no, make that knew—that we had found “the one!”
College graduation came and I was ready to launch myself into my career. My boyfriend wasn’t ready for what he considered “the daily grind” of a “real job.” With his wealthy parents’ endorsement he first traveled Europe and then spent a year on the slopes of Lake Tahoe. During this time we stayed connected. He was the one for me; I was the one for him.
Then things changed. I was and am doing extremely well in my career and on the fast-track to success. My boyfriend became and is stuck in his care-free life. I began to question my relationship with this person who I believed had so much to offer. Slowly my feelings began to change from being in love with him to the less-passionate just loving him and the person he was and could be. My goals and dreams remain the same; his have become foggy as he tries to figure out what to do for the rest of his life.
There are some things that I had hoped would never change. But I’ve learned that life doesn’t work that way. Things do change and people change. It’s sad to give up a dream, but sometimes personal growth requires letting go and moving on.
I’ve let go and said good-bye to this person who was so important to me for so many years. Memories are wonderful, but reality is what life is all about.
The most important thing I learned from this relationship is that I am now better able to determine what type of man I need in my life…and many of the qualities in a man that I am searching for are the very same as my former boyfriend. He is a good person, but not the right person for me. My man is out there. And thanks to my former boyfriend, I will know him when I meet him. Maybe this summer will be my best summer ever!