Bonding in the Car
A car full of kids! Now doesn’t that sound like sheer misery? That is what I used to think when my kids were young and I spent most of my time carting them from one activity to another. I learned the hard way, however, that these car trips were so much more than an inconvenience. They were the thread that tied together the family. They were the confinement needed to really get to know my children and for my children to know their siblings.
My kids are all grown up. They drive their own cars and go in their own direction. No longer are they sitting next to me or behind me in the closeness offered in a car. No longer are they sharing their joys and their woes in the extended conversations that once flowed on road trips. This information now comes in snippets over the telephone…or in emails…or in far-too-rushed visits. I drive alone…or with my husband. Oh how I miss all the youthful energy combined with steady conversation that once filled the car!
I was reminded of the delightful confusion that comes with a car-load of kids during a recent holiday. We had two of the three kids at home. (Sadly, my third child, Libby, now married with a daughter, was with her own family.) We were invited for dinner at my sister’s home. At first our two children were going to drive their own cars. At the last minute al four of us decided to go together.
Just getting into the car at the same time proved an aggravation. Emily, our youngest, was still trying on a multitude of outfits when it was time to load up. Andy, our son, was caught up in a sporting event and was reluctant to leave the television. My husband was doing something and was nowhere to be found. I started to load the stuff needed for this brief trip—the dish to pass, our beverages, some gifts. I was getting angry. I was ready at the agreed-upon time to leave. Where the hell was my family?
Finally, the car had the needed passengers and we were off. After a few minutes of brooding—my family has always brooded when their presence is required at a family gathering—the conversation began. Emily shared her latest dramas with Andy. Andy returned the favor with information about his life. My husband and I shared satisfied glances as we both took in the information that probably would have eluded us had we not been in the car. Each mile we went we learned a little bit more about our adult children. They, too, learned some things about us.
The 45-mile trip brought smiles, laughter, sharing and family bonding. We all agreed that we missed these family outings in the car. We missed this togetherness.
That day on that trip I was reminded about how important the car had been in being a part of our children’s lives. Sure, over the years there have been some sibling fights, some harsh words and a multitude of complaints. But there has been so much more. We became a close family in the car…something that has remained even now, years later.
Comments
Try a 15 passenger van with hubby and 10 kids. Well, actually, the oldest girl was in college by the time the youngest was born but we once did take a vacation with the 9 kids and a friend of the girls. We even went camping!!! Sunday morning going to worship meeting in a new place was even more challenging on that camping trip!
Posted by: Carol Dudgeon | June 25, 2007 11:35 AM