Where's the Rose Garden?
With joy in my heart! I know that this is how I should feel when I offer to do things for others. I’ve learned the hard way, however, that I’m not very good at the joy part. Many times I resent doing things and wish I had never made the offer in the first place.
A young (in her early 40s) friend’s diabetes has forced her to have both a kidney and pancreas transplants. Following these major surgeries, her vision began failing. Now she is blind.
I met this person and we became friends more than 10 years ago when she was a vibrant and successful businesswoman. Attractive, single and with a great sense of humor, it was easy to like her. Besides, I thought, it’s good having younger friends—I’m 20 years her senior. Now I’ll have someone to take me to my doctor appointments when I get old! (This was just a passing thought and definitely not the reason for my friendship with her. She was and is a wonderful person!)
Life isn’t always fair, as my friend and I have discovered. Her tragic medical outcomes have changed her life and mine, too. I now take her—and her guide dog—to all her doctor appointments…I drive her to the grocery store…I take her to the university where she is pursuing a master’s degree. I say that I don’t mind doing this, but, if the truth be told, there are times that I’m resentful that I am stuck with these “inconveniences.” (Her other friends—all full-time working women—don’t seem to have the time, especially during the day, to handle these duties. In addition, my blind friend chooses to live on her own and hundreds of miles away from her parents and other willing family members.)
So I do what is needed begrudgingly. My friend is super appreciative and always offers money for gas. I, however, am one busy lady. It’s hard to work around her needs…but I do. I rearrange my schedule. I’m angry every time she calls for still another need of my time.
Others, especially my family members, who try to help me with all of these driving needs, say I’m heaven-bound because of my “good works.” (In addition to my blind friend’s demand on my time, I take my 85-year-old neighbor to doctor, beauty shop and other appointments.) But forget heaven, I want it to be a little easier on earth!
My blind friend and elderly neighbor have both tried the limited services offered by community organizations, but these attempts haven’t been too successful so my taxi service continues. Now I just want to feel good about what I’m doing and this is where I’m having a problem. I’m working on this “joy thing,” but so far I haven’t been too successful. After all, wasn’t I promised a rose garden?
Comments
First off you don't get to heaven by good works. "For by grace are you saved, though faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Ephesians 2:8,9. Good for you for helping your friend!!!! We can't always feel good about everything.
Posted by: Carol | February 6, 2008 09:27 AM