I’m too nice. Really, I am. I try to make everybody happy…often to the detriment of my own happiness.

Over the years close friends and family members have told me: “If you try to please everyone, you’ll never be able to please yourself.” True advice, but, coincidentally, these same advice givers seemed to be referring to “everybody else” and not them. They know my “pleasing flaw” and they use it to their advantage…this I am learning the hard way over and over again!

A recent “pleasing” experience turned out to be not so pleasant. My husband and I received three invitations for wonderful gatherings all on the same date. I RSVPed to the first invitation and when the second and third invites arrived I was disappointed that we couldn’t attend these events, but…oh well! (Why does it happen that you can go for weeks with no plans and then there are multiple invitations on the same day?)

I called the hostesses of the two other events and extended our apology that we couldn’t come because we already had a commitment. These hostesses—both good friends—expressed their disappointment along with urgings for us to “at least stop by.” Then both began campaigns to get us to come if only briefly. (I didn’t know we were that crucial as necessary party ingredients!)

Continue reading "Too Nice?" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 01:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My friends want “honest” opinions on just about everything, including clothes, hair, weight, job and their significant other. To accommodate their requests, I have given them my honest opinions. If my opinion is less than favorable, I even try to soften it so I don’t hurt their feelings. I’m learning the hard way, however, that my opinion is expected to be the same as theirs'. They only want “honesty” if my opinion agrees with their thinking.

When am I going to learn? When am I going to stay away from the “honest opinion trap?” At the rate I’m going I will lose all my friends. (Fortunately, I have a lot of friends but…)

One friend has a new job. I know that the company has a questionable reputation and is always in search of large numbers of new recruits. I learned this from my own year-long job search when I asked others—those in the know—about the company. “Bad” and “illegal activities” were the comments I heard.

My friend never told me about joining the company until after she accepted the job. I didn’t know what to do. Should I tell her? What if I’m wrong? She didn’t ask my opinion, should I say something anyway? I was in a quandary. Do I tell her what I know or should I let her find out?

I went to my boss, who is a respectable and knowledgeable businessman, for some direction. He, too, knew about the questionable company and advised me to tell my friend. He said the company operates with a “cult” mentality. “If you are a good friend, you must tell her,” he said. So I did.

Continue reading "Opinions Anyone?" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 03:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My friends want “honest” opinions on just about everything, including clothes, hair, weight, job and their significant other. To accommodate their requests, I have given them my honest opinions. If my opinion is less than favorable, I even try to soften it so I don’t hurt their feelings. I’m learning the hard way, however, that my opinion is expected to be the same as theirs'. They only want “honesty” if my opinion agrees with their thinking.

When am I going to learn? When am I going to stay away from the “honest opinion trap?” At the rate I’m going I will lose all my friends. (Fortunately, I have a lot of friends but…)

One friend has a new job. I know that the company has a questionable reputation and is always in search of large numbers of new recruits. I learned this from my own year-long job search when I asked others—those in the know—about the company. “Bad” and “illegal activities” were the comments I heard.

My friend never told me about joining the company until after she accepted the job. I didn’t know what to do. Should I tell her? What if I’m wrong? She didn’t ask my opinion, should I say something anyway? I was in a quandary. Do I tell her what I know or should I let her find out?

I went to my boss, who is a respectable and knowledgeable businessman, for some direction. He, too, knew about the questionable company and advised me to tell my friend. He said the company operates with a “cult” mentality. “If you are a good friend, you must tell her,” he said. So I did.

Continue reading "Opinions Anyone?" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 03:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Young people don’t have good manners! I can say this because I’m young (23) and I have learned that many of my peers may know, but don’t show good manners. And it’s not that I just have ill-mannered friends. Others, young and old, have complained about the disappearance of good manners in today’s younger generations.

Continue reading "How Rude!" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 02:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Never, ever get in between your girlfriend and her boyfriend. I know this—and this knowledge has come with much pain—but I haven’t learned to stop getting in the middle.

In high school, a girlfriend asked me to tell her what I thought of her boyfriend. She pleaded with me to be honest. I told her I wouldn’t like him for a boyfriend myself, because he wasn’t my type. I thought this would end the conversation. But no, she needed to know why he wasn’t my type. I wanted to tell her he was a jerk, but I knew better. So I told her he was, in my opinion, too selfish. That set off fireworks and she stopped talking to me. You have to keep your mouth shut, I told myself. A month later, after she broke up with her boyfriend “because he was too selfish,” she began talking to me again.

Continue reading "A Lose, Lose Situation" »

Posted by Emily Prysby at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Continue reading "What a Shock" »

Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 05:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)