I usually hate my birthday. It has nothing to do with my advancing age. I’ve accepted that each year I get older. What I hate is the presents that my husband gets for me. I’ve learned the hard way—with lots of useless stuff—that my husband doesn’t have a clue about gift-giving. He just picks up something at the last minute that may or may not—and usually doesn’t—appeal to me. A present for me is to him an obligation and not a joy.

This past birthday, however, was the best ever. When he asked me what he could buy for me, I said I didn’t want anything. “I have everything I need…in fact, I have too much stuff,” I told him. He was relieved. I saved him a trip to the closest store—it’s a hardware store—to pick up something for me.

Continue reading "A Happy Birthday" »

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It’s summer wedding season. Thousands of brides and grooms are going to the altar to make vows of “love” and “forever.” Most are totally happy with their marriage choice. Others, however, are expecting some changes from the other for the better. They will soon learn the hard way that their spouse will probably not change. This is the reason that “for better or worse” is part of the marriage vows. I have learned that my husband is basically the same man that I exchanged wedding vows with 30 years ago. Luckily, he is mostly good…but!

I remember thinking that once we got married, my husband would be more sensitive. Wrong!!! To this day he often forgets the little things that make me happy, such as Diet Coke, folding the towels and calling when he’s going to be late coming home. He drinks the last Diet Coke and never replaces it; he has, as yet, folded towels or anything else but his own laundry, and more-than-not he forgets to call when he’s running late.

On my wedding day I had visions of my husband helping me clean the house THE WAY I LIKE IT TO BE CLEANED! The first month of marriage—maybe it was only the first week—he tried to help clean according to my instructions, but soon he returned to his “once over lightly” style and then resumed a prone position on the couch to watch a sporting event. He didn’t care that I had hours to go to make his castle shine. (To be fair, he never minds helping when I ask him. It’s just that his definition of “cleaning” is so different than mine.)

Continue reading "For Better or Worse!" »

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I could be married to a millionaire right now. I had my chance. I’ve learned the hard way, however, that being too picky may not be a good thing!

Before I met my husband, I was engaged to two others (not at the same time). One definitely turned out to be a big no-no. (He had an anger problem and once knocked a hole in our apartment wall. I figured that I might be his next target so I kicked him out of the apartment and out of my life.) The other man, however, was what most women would call “a great catch.”

Mark was a great guy in most ways. He was kind, loving, goal-oriented and deeply cared for me. He treated me like a princess when that was what I needed; he treated me as an intelligent, independent woman when this was what I desired. He wanted me to be the best I could be and he strove to be the best he could be. His exceptional qualities were further enhanced by exceptional good looks. All who met him thought he was definitely “a keeper.”

Continue reading "Kissing Counts!" »

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Attention mothers of young children! I’m here to help you learn something that I wish I had learned when I became a mother for the first time. If you do…and follow the good advice I’m about to give you, you won’t find yourself in the situation that I am now in.

I, like you, fell in love with each of my children the minute they were born. They took center stage in my life. I did everything for them over the years, as did my husband. Both of us felt that our children were “everything.” This is not bad. What is bad is that I, especially, put my spouse in second place. His concerns came only after the concerns of the children were attended to.

Our care and concern for our three children have paid off nicely. All three are wonderful and kind young people with college educations and contributing members of society. Both my husband and I are proud and definitely feel that all our hard work over the years as parents has been worth it. We did well when it came to the children, but we goofed when it came to each other.

Continue reading "Wife First...Then a Mother!" »

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On my 30th birthday more than 30 years ago, I got down on my knees and prayed to God to send me a good man to marry. I needed divine help since I had been doing a lousy job with my love life selections for the past few years. I continued this ritual every night and three weeks later, I met the man who would become my husband, although I didn’t consider him marriage material when I met him. (He was “too nice” and every woman knows that a too-nice man isn’t a prized commodity. More on this in a future post.)

Continue reading "Why Did I Tell Him That?" »

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November brings my birthday; December, Christmas. These special days are a big deal for me, but they have never been for my husband. I know this because of the “great” gifts that he has given me over the years. His presents aren’t usually anything I want or anything I’ve requested. My birthday gift is something he can find in the hardware store—well, maybe I’m exaggerating, but not by much. And for Christmas, whatever is left at the mall after 12 noon on Christmas Eve finds its way under the tree with my name on it. Luckily, I have grown children. They do a better job of making special occasions special!

Continue reading "All I Want is..." »

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