When I was an overwhelmed mother of three small children, who are close in age, I remember saying “I can’t wait” often. I couldn’t wait until they were out of diapers; I couldn’t wait until they could feed themselves; I couldn’t wait until they could walk; I couldn’t wait until they started school; I couldn’t wait until… My impatience was endless. I’ve learned the hard way, however, that I wish I had enjoyed these times—these precious moments in the children’s lives—more because they are long gone and now only far distant memories.

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Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 05:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Today is a big day for our youngest child, our daughter Emily. Today she turns 25 years of age…and I am reminded today, like most days this past quarter of a century, that God has a delightful sense of humor. Sometimes I learned this the hard way, most times, however, Emily’s entry in my life has been nothing less than an immense blessing.

Soon after my husband and I were married, we discovered that getting pregnant and having children might not be possible. When we heard this devastating news we began a nightly ritual, on our knees, praying to God for a child. We also began weekly visits to a fertility specialist and a regime of tests and procedures. The combination of God and medicine worked. We were blessed first with a son and then a daughter. Our family was complete. We had a boy; we had a girl. We had everything we had hoped for…or so we thought.

Having two small children—they are 18 months apart in age—was sometimes overwhelming for an “older” mom and dad. Our energy was challenged, but our joy never was.

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Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 03:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

When my three children were young, one of my most hated tasks was making lunches for each of them to take school. (Ironing clothes was another!) I made what I thought were healthy lunches that they would like. How wrong I was! They never seemed to like whatever I made.

I tired of the complaints and the uneaten foods. It became a battle each night when I tried to elicit what they would like in their lunch. They, of course, just wanted money so they could buy lunch (their choice was always pizza) at school. This was not an option based on our budget and on my desire to fuel them with more nutritious food than pizza every day.

I learned the hard way that pleasing kids with good brown bag lunches was a difficult task. Then I came up with a workable solution that took the lunch-making job away from me. In addition, my solution resulted in fewer complaints and less uneaten foods.

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Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 08:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

A car full of kids! Now doesn’t that sound like sheer misery? That is what I used to think when my kids were young and I spent most of my time carting them from one activity to another. I learned the hard way, however, that these car trips were so much more than an inconvenience. They were the thread that tied together the family. They were the confinement needed to really get to know my children and for my children to know their siblings.

My kids are all grown up. They drive their own cars and go in their own direction. No longer are they sitting next to me or behind me in the closeness offered in a car. No longer are they sharing their joys and their woes in the extended conversations that once flowed on road trips. This information now comes in snippets over the telephone…or in emails…or in far-too-rushed visits. I drive alone…or with my husband. Oh how I miss all the youthful energy combined with steady conversation that once filled the car!

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Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 12:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I finally did it! I finally cut the apron strings…not completely, but enough to make me feel like a mentally capable parent. I knew this had to be done…sometime, but I am still surprised that I picked up the scissors and began snipping!

From the very beginning with the birth of our first child, our son Andy, I loved motherhood. Changing messy diapers gave me time for eye-to-eye interaction with my son. I never dreaded late-night feedings because I could spend time with this small bundle of joy. I hated naptime because I couldn’t be with this precious little creature. I held “my prince” from morning to night and talked to him incessantly. He heard all about me and his dad and his extended family—all the family stories—before he was three months old. Ahhh! Life was great.

When first one daughter, Libby, arrived 18 months after our son and then another, Emily, came 27 months after Libby, I found that motherhood, although at times hectic, was my perfect role. I felt so blessed surrounded by my three little chicks. Caring for them was, for me, the best job I ever had.

I enjoyed each and every stage of their lives. We had fun—all of us—even during the challenging pre-teen and teen years. My husband and I were blessed with good kids and the challenges were brief and minor. I wanted my kids around forever!

College years came and as each left for campus my heart broke a little. Luckily, they were fairly close and visits were frequent. (Amazingly…they wanted to see and be with me!)

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Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 08:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

When my mother wished upon me a child who was exactly like me—I was in the seventh grade when she said this in frustration—I never dreamed that her wish would come true. But I learned the hard way that history repeats itself.

I wasn’t really a bad kid, just spirited. I attended a Catholic grade school where makeup and perfume/cologne were taboo for female (and male, for that matter) students. But I got around these restrictions…sort of. For my scent I dabbed vanilla—the brown stuff for baking—behind my ears. I wasn’t wearing perfume or cologne! The nuns, however, considered my scent addition to be somewhat devious. My mother was called for still another visit to join me in the principal’s office. (What amazes me now is how revolutionary I was back then…I knew, long before today’s perfume manufacturers, that vanilla was an enticing scent!)

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Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 10:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Some of the worst advice I ever received (and for a while, believed) was given to me by nurses in the hospital.

I had given birth to a healthy baby boy at around midnight; at four thirty in the morning I was finally being taken to my room. When the nurse came to bring me my son and to help me learn to breastfeed, she launched into a long, scolding speech about not letting the baby use me as a pacifier. My poor, new-mother brain had just given birth; it was trying to learn how to breastfeed; and now, it had to file away this “don’t be a pacifier” advice.

Becoming a mother came with a whirlwind of advice: from nurses, doctors, lactation consultants, family, friends, co-workers. I hung on every word so I would do the “right” thing. There were warnings to never give formula, encouragements to supplement with formula; to let the baby cry, to always respond to his whimpers. My mind raced in circles trying to follow what everyone was telling me to do.

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Posted by Jessica McCoy at 10:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Sometimes, as parents, our priorities go askew. We crave for our children “to be the best” when our goal for them should be “to do their best.” I know from personal experience that the first “best” is more often than not unattainable. I learned, however, that the second is not only possible, but the tool that will help our children gain self-esteem.

When my son was a toddler, I wanted everyone to think that he was such an exceptional little human being that no other toddler could compare to him. This is what the other mothers wanted, so why not me? It was like there was a gigantic contest going on as to who had “the best…the brightest…the most advanced” child ever. Forget all the special qualities of each toddler. These were overlooked if the child wasn’t the best.

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Posted by Sandra Dalka-Prysby at 12:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Continue reading "Dad Needs to Be Able to Soothe and Put the Baby to Sleep" »

Posted by Carrie Bickner-Zeldman at 10:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)