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July 16, 2007

On the Job Advice

My first anniversary as a full-time, “big girl” working woman is fast approaching. (After graduating from college in 2005 and spending a year in search of a position in my field—marketing—I was fortunate to find my “perfect” job last August.) I love what I do and who I do it for.

Soon after employment, I discovered that college doesn’t really prepare you for the “real world.” I thought I knew…if not everything…at least enough to make me a worthwhile commodity. I’ve learned the hard way, however, that education is gained on the job and not in the classroom. (Too be fair to advanced education, I guess I am using some morsels of knowledge that I picked up here and there on campus, but they are only tidbits compared to what I learn every day at work.)

To help other “new bees” in the workforce, I am going to share some of the things that I learned I should have done from day one on the job. Had I had this knowledge sooner, I would have done better.

Ask questions. When I first started my job I wanted to appear like I knew what I was doing. Because of this, I limited questions. After all, I didn’t want my boss to think I was dumb. Luckily, my boss encouraged me to not only ask questions, but to admit when I didn’t know how to do something. Once I realized that questions were not only acceptable but expected, I was able to better perform my job.


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June 04, 2007

Opinions Anyone?

My friends want “honest” opinions on just about everything, including clothes, hair, weight, job and their significant other. To accommodate their requests, I have given them my honest opinions. If my opinion is less than favorable, I even try to soften it so I don’t hurt their feelings. I’m learning the hard way, however, that my opinion is expected to be the same as theirs'. They only want “honesty” if my opinion agrees with their thinking.

When am I going to learn? When am I going to stay away from the “honest opinion trap?” At the rate I’m going I will lose all my friends. (Fortunately, I have a lot of friends but…)

One friend has a new job. I know that the company has a questionable reputation and is always in search of large numbers of new recruits. I learned this from my own year-long job search when I asked others—those in the know—about the company. “Bad” and “illegal activities” were the comments I heard.

My friend never told me about joining the company until after she accepted the job. I didn’t know what to do. Should I tell her? What if I’m wrong? She didn’t ask my opinion, should I say something anyway? I was in a quandary. Do I tell her what I know or should I let her find out?

I went to my boss, who is a respectable and knowledgeable businessman, for some direction. He, too, knew about the questionable company and advised me to tell my friend. He said the company operates with a “cult” mentality. “If you are a good friend, you must tell her,” he said. So I did.

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November 07, 2006

Building a Career Mid-Life

I was 39 with a benchmark birthday due in October. Forty meant I wasn’t young anymore, and that scared me as much as a spooky campfire story can frighten a sassy adolescent. My fear came in the form of simple math. If I were to live a normal life expectancy, I had forty years left.

The first had gone by so quickly. I had been a sweet child and a not-so-spectacular student. The next twenty, I was wife and mom. Those roles were changing. The child in me was no longer calling out. Student days were a foggy memory. My own children were in high school, making decisions of their own. My husband and I had grown together and flowed down the same river. But with our kids nearly launched, our work as parents was easing up. It was time to think about my future!

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October 11, 2006

Apologizing for Success

It nearly happed again today. A colleague told me that he thought I was doing a wonderful job. “I don’t know how you do it, Carrie,” he said. My brain began to race to find a funny, self-mocking apology for my success.

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October 07, 2006

Pulling Up the Ladder

“You had better watch out for the younger women in the company, because they will eat you alive!”

This was the friendly advice my former boss gave me recently over a nice cup of tea. He was trying to rattle me, and he did to an extent, but he also gave me the answer to a question that has been troubling me for years: why do my female colleagues still want to pull up the ladder?

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July 21, 2006

Pissing in the Corners

A younger colleague, let’s call her Liz, spoke to me recently about a hand slap she received from an infamous petty tyrant (we’ll call her Martha) in our company. Martha is a myopic control freak who likes to yell, especially at younger women.

“I should just let it go," said my friend.

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